‘The Book Validates Several Choices I Made’

(Published in Business World Online, retrieved from http://www.businessworld.in/news/books/authors-corner/the-book-validates-several-choices-i-made/1075721/page-1.html)

Why this book? Why do you think a reader should pick up this book? 

Well, this book looks at a very specific societal grid – urban, educated, modern women across the country, belonging to different religions and persuasions, and working in various industries, who have had arranged marriages. I think Hitched offers something for everyone – I’ve had readers from different age groups and genders speaking about how certain things in the book reminded them of their own stories, or those of their children, or those of their friends and family members. From the comments posted by people who have read extracts from my book online, I can see that many of the experiences the book recounts are universal. One comment especially struck home – a reader said, “I feel so stupid for letting my friends judge me all these years. Thank you for posting this”. It’s a great feeling to think there’s something in the book that validates people’s choices for them.

To be honest, the book addresses a lot of first-world concerns – and people tend to feel guilty for making a big deal of these, but they are a big deal. A lot of the problems the book tackles crop up in most marriages, and people are usually embarrassed to speak about them. Even if they do, they’re usually asked to compromise, or think of those less fortunate. I think readers will find that many of these stories reflect their own lives. Maybe they’ll find solutions; maybe they’ll find hope; maybe they’ll find amusement; maybe they’ll find the courage to make an overdue decision.

What does the book mean to you? How long did you take to research and write? 

In a weird way, the book validates several choices I made – the first, of course, is quitting my job to be a writer; the second is to address socially relevant issues through my work in journalism; and the third is the decision to take on a subject I have no personal experience of, with the hope of putting together a cogent narrative.

It took me about four months of continuous research and writing. I would meet or speak to each of my interviewees several times, transcribe what they told me, and then see where and how it fitted in with things my other interviewees had said.

Do you think arranged marriages are still relevant in this age and time?

Yes, they are, and I think they always will be. In fact, they’re not dissimilar to dating websites in the West. But we’ve got squeamish about arranged marriages, because it feels like an admission of defeat that we couldn’t find love on our own. Or that we were not rebellious and independent enough to ask our families to take a hike. But the fact is, both men and women have a lot more leeway in the arranged marriage context than they did a generation ago. I think the way forward would be for marriage portals such as Shaadi.com or Bharat Matrimony to evolve niche dating sub-websites, as it were. As it stands right now, arranged marriage makes sense if one knows exactly what one wants from life, and also knows what one is willing to compromise on.

Tell us about your writing schedules. When and where do you write?

I don’t follow a rigid writing schedule. I prefer writing at night, but I write whenever I feel inspired to. Sometimes a sentence hits me, and makes me itch to see what it will lead to. If I happen to be out, I quickly note it down on my phone. Most people think I’m being rude and checking texts or tweeting or Facebooking, but it’s easier to let them think that than explain and have them ask what the sentence is, and then gauge its merit and sap all the potential out of it. I can write anywhere – I usually end up writing either sitting or lying stomach-down on my bed. But I travel a lot, and, as long as I have my laptop with me and silence around, I can write.

What’s your energy drink?

Filter coffee. You don’t want to meet me before I’ve downed a tumbler of that in the morning.

What makes a book a really good read or a best seller?

See, I think there is a parallel universe, well actually two parallel universes, of stories and characters. When it comes to fiction, I think what makes a book a really good read is when the right story pulls the right characters into itself, and then finds the right author to let it tell itself. With non-fiction, the author has to find the characters, but then a book develops its own dynamic – sometimes, one just runs randomly into someone who says, “Oh, you should hear my story”. I personally feel a good book draws from an author’s willingness to stay in the background, and not interfere with the narrative.

As for a bestseller, I don’t know – it’s like asking what makes an article go viral. Maybe it’s the people involved, maybe it’s the hype, maybe it’s that it speaks to a lot of readers, maybe it’s because it’s struck at the right time, or maybe it’s marketing. Harry Potter, for example, is, to me, a terribly-written series with more adjectives than nouns and a sappy storyline – there isn’t a single creature or idea in it that doesn’t remind me of something in J R R Tolkien’s or Philip Pullman’s works. Why does anyone like it? I don’t know.

What's the hardest thing about being a writer?

For me, it’s how dislikeable and socially paralysed one seems. I think most writers are likeable to each other, but not to the world at large. When I work on plays or novels, especially, I find myself going to very dark places, and it shows in my behaviour – I snap, get paranoid about things, am prone to mood swings, and feel impatient around most people. Most people don’t understand these things.

How did you find a publisher for your (first) book? The journey from manuscript to published paperback. 

Actually, in this case, my publisher found me. Meru Gokhale, the Editorial Director of Random House India, thought up the idea of writing a book on arranged marriage. She gave me some time to think about whether I wanted to write it, and I grew really excited just thinking about what form it would take. My publishers don’t know this yet, but I was so caught up with the idea of a book on arranged marriage and the modern Indian woman that I’d done a couple of interviews even before I got my contract. The journey was idyllic, almost. At some point, it felt like the book wrote itself. Before finalising the manuscript, I sent back each interviewee’s account to be vetted by him or her before it went to print. My editors were lovely in their handling of the process too. And it felt surreal to see the book out, finally on the stands, with my name on it.

What are you reading now?

I’m between books. I just finished Amit Chaudhuri’s The Immortals, and am starting on Jahnavi Barua’s Rebirth.

Ebooks or paper format?

Oh, only real books. I’ve never downloaded an eBook in my life. I don’t see that ever changing.

So, what’s next?

The novel I’ve already started working on is adapted from a play I wrote last year. I’ve got two other novels and two non-fiction books in my head right now.