Is your book Hitched autobiographical?
It's non-fiction. The parts of it that refer to me say they refer to me.
So, is it part autobiographical? Would you call it semi-fiction?
No, it's non-fiction. I don't understand what "part autobiographical" means. I don't understand what "semi-fiction" means either.
Is this your first novel?
No, it's not a novel. Here's why.
Are you for or against arranged marriages?
This is a book. It's not a debate.
Will you have an arranged marriage?
Answering that question will necessitate that I reveal my relationship status, and I don't do that.
Does the book support arranged marriage?
The book is about arranged marriage. There are happy accounts and sad accounts.
Is Hitched self-help?
I don't understand why any book is called 'self-help', because if you're turning to the book, you're not self-helping, no? You're asking the author for help.
So, is Hitched help, or author-help?
No, this book doesn't offer help from me. It's a lot of personal narratives and research on aspects of marriage based on interviews, and it's meant to be a fun-but-serious read. It may seem tragicomic to some. It may help some people in the sense that they will be able to relate to what the book talks about, and each will have his or her individual takeaway.
Would you recommend arranged marriage?
It doesn't matter what I recommend. It's a personal decision one has to make on one's own.
What is your own arranged-marriage experience?
Buy the book. I speak about the people I spoke to in the shaadi mandi.
Why should anyone buy the book?
It has a pretty cover. And all of us are voyeuristic and curious. It has personal accounts from real people with false names.
Does Hitched offer some drastic revelation about marriage?
No. At least, I don't think so.
Does it say the same thing every other book on marriage says?
I haven't read any other book on marriage. Sorry.
What should I expect from Hitched?
Are you always this rude?
I was trying to be polite, actually.
Are you trying to be funny now?
No, still trying to be polite.
Have you got negative feedback on Hitched?
Yeah, from people who thought it was self-help, and found that it didn't tell them whether to have arranged marriages or not.
Did you actually say men are dogs?
Did someone else in your book say it?
No. An interviewee said, "You need to train your man like a dog with potential". Her explanation is that intelligent dogs can be trained because they are so supremely satisfied in their intelligence, they won't realise they are being trained.
Have you got hate mail for that remark?
Yes. Some men's rights group said "This bitch called men dogs. She has penis envy". I'm absolutely serious about this.
Who are your favourite writers?
I like lots. I won't mention those whom I know personally, because they'd get embarrassed if they chanced upon this. I'll mention them in the Acknowledgements section of my next book, and embarrass them more effectively and sycophantically. This one was for my English teachers. Among the writers whom I don't know personally, Vikram Seth. Orhan Pamuk. V S Naipaul. Salman Rushdie. Gabriel Garcia Marquez. Haruki Murakami. J R R Tolkien. They're all spelt the way I've spelt them here.